The insulin pump is a lifesaving invention. If you are a type 1 diabetic who doesn't have one, I'd encourage you to pursue getting one any way possible. For us, it meant taking out a 2nd mortgage on our house to pay the deductible for my first one, but I've never regretted that. Thankfully, we have better insurance now, but pump therapy is still an expensive endeavor.
Despite the wonderful advancement it was for me to get my first pump, I remember well my first night with it. I'm not one known for overly emotional outbursts, but I sobbed to the point of not being able to speak I was so upset to have it. There was an emotional transition for which I wasn't prepared. When giving myself shots the first 3 or 4 years I had diabetes, I had to think about my diabetes several times during the day. But then I had hours in between meals and shots that I could forget. But my pump changed all that. I had to wear it 24 hours a day and could only remove it for the three S's--showers, swimming, and sex. And the first day I got it, I felt the weight of the pump against my wasteband second by second, minute by minute, and hour by hour.
I was a diabetic. I couldn't escape it. I had no relief from dealing with it. And I just wanted to be normal. I had learned up to that point how to deal with the interruptions of checking my blood sugar and giving myself shots. But the pump caused me to deal with my diabetes at a whole new level--I could never get away from it.
In 2 Corinthians 3, Paul speaks of the glory of all we have in Jesus. He goes on and on--the ministry of the Spirit is glorious, there is no comparison to the beauty of the ministry of Jesus to us through the cross, this glory doesn't fade, we are being transformed into the glorious image of Christ, and we are FREE.
Then in 2 Corinthians 4, Paul says this:
7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.
That's a really big "but". We have the treasure of this incomparable glory stored away in jars of clay. Clay pots--not golden treasure chests that stand the test of time, but breakable clay pots that eventually return to the dust from which they were created.
We are breakable. In fact, we are all breaking down. My insulin pump has become to me the symbol of that. I have an incurable condition that in all likelihood will one day hasten my death (though I'm free of complications at this point). Verse 10 often comes to mind when I look at my pump. "We carry around in our body the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body."
I love the idea that there is something about my body breaking down that lets me point to the life I have in Jesus all the clearer. You'd think it would be the opposite, but it's not. By God's good plan, He has given us the incomparable glory of Christ to carry around in our broken clay pots. And the greatness of the treasure isn't marred by the fragility of the vessel. This is a great paradox on which to meditate.
*Special Note: Our family has lost a loved one after a 2 year battle with cancer, bringing this passage to mind in new ways. I'll be away from the blog for a few weeks. Thanks to those who read PT for W regularly. I appreciate your prayers for safe travel for us all. And I admit to some anxiety as I prepare to fly with my two young, active (and not always obedient and immediately responsive) boys. I appreciate your prayers for our family these next two weeks.
8 comments:
Thanks for posting this.
I have a chronic illness which doctors say will get worse with age. I get frustrated and sometimes depressed that my body is breaking down when i'm only 20, but thankyou so much for reminding me that it can serve to glorify God even more.
Nice to have some relief from the burden of the prosperity gospel. Cheers.
Praying for you Wendy as you travel with your children. We've done it many times, so know what that's like. Great post, our identity is in Christ.
If you remember I cried when the two of us were told you would be insulin dependent for the rest of your life. You had to console me. I knew life as you knew it would never be the same. In your case however I think it has made you an even better person. lol
Thanks for sharing this beautiful word from God. Praying for you & your family!
Oh, wow... I too am a type 1 diabetic and pump patient (diabetes since 1986; pump since 1996) and a Christ-follower.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this.
I raise my handful of Splenda-sweetened popcorn to you, my sister!!! ;o)
Word Verification:
returfi - an expert in putting a new version of turf on a lawn or football field
*chuckle*
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Wendy. I'm no expert blogger - in fact I've never felt compelled to post a response to a blog before. But I felt an instant affinity with you, even across the other side of the world (Sydney, Australia) as a woman who is a Christian, Type 1 diabetic, and a pump-user! So I thought I'd add my thoughts too.
For the most part, I love my insulin pump. In the current world of medicine, it's the closest thing to having a real, working, pancreas (the pancreas is the organ that produces insulin, and insulin transports glucose to the body's cells for energy. When the insulin-producing pancreatic cells are destroyed, there's no insulin, as is the case in Type 1 diabetes, and glucose stays in the blood - hence high blood glucose, which is life-threatening if not treated).
I have been very privileged to enjoy fantastic medical and family support since being diagnosed with diabetes 10 years ago. I got my pump a couple of years ago, through the help of the same excellent medical team (thanks especially to Charmaine, my amazing diabetes educator!) who customised the settings to my needs - there are a whole lot of tricky mathematical formulas and engineering that make it possible for a pump to be adapted as each pump-user needs. The great thing about the pump is that it allows for a greater flexibility of lifestyle than with needles - for example, you don't have to eat at all if you don't want to - whereas with needles you need to keep to regular mealtimes. And there are also other sophisticated functions allowing you to adapt it to your lifestyle. This was unheard of with earlier treatments for diabetes. In Australia, our generous medical system allows for private health insurance to completely cover the cost of obtaining a pump (mine is worth $8,000 AUD). Also, the government heavily subsidises the cost of insulin and some other consumables needed by diabetics, whether you have a pump or not. All of this has led me to be extremely thankful to God for the amazing medical care that is so easily accessible in the Western World (even obtaining insulin at the most basic level is not to be taken for granted in a third world country). And my family and friends are incredibly supportive and caring - my mother worries about my diabetes more than I do because she cares so much!
But as Wendy says, having a pump reminds us diabetics that we are still frail as humans, and having a pump still lends itself to some difficulties. For me, changing from needles to a pump took some getting used to, and I remember not coping very well that first week after getting it, and then taking longer than that to get used to and learn the various aspects of it. Having a pump is now part of my daily routine. But it doesn't "cure" diabetes - which is still a balancing act day-to-day. And when something goes wrong with the pump (which doesn't happen very often but has happened to me a few times since getting the pump), the routine goes out the window anyway because you go into "emergency mode" to try bring down sky-rocketing blood glucose levels, which lead to dangerous side-effects when left unchecked. This also means I need to leave more time in my routine and not busy my life with too many "things", so that I have time to manage my diabetes properly.
But, in God's kindness, these difficulties remind me of where I am headed as a follower of Jesus. Heaven! I always love reading Revelation 21:1-5, with the reminder that in the new creation God is making everything new. No more death, mourning, crying or pain - that we all experience in this fallen world.
So, I look forward to a bodily resurrection, with a new pancreas so that I can enjoy Jesus' heavenly banquet (Revelation 19:6-9) with my Christian brothers and sisters. I'm well-known for loving my food, and this party is not to be missed!
Thanks for sharing, Anna!
Elena, it's nice to meet you!!
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